#i have a picture of a really really good burger i ate the other day if anyone wants to see it..

[hattiestgal]

Your favorite food is burgies, but what about your side for those burgs? Fries? Tots? What kinds? And sauces?

Ough.... you can't make me pick between tots and fries.... ouhhhh... probably fries, notably garlic fries.

And!! I might be weird for this but honestly I don't really care for dipping my sides in sauce! I think you can kinda just eat em raw and they'll still be real good. Mustard if anything?

[kaliforniahigh]

I decided to write a HC about Noah dating a girl with ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)

This is solely based on my experience. Even though I'm not professionally diagnosed, all the evidence and my selective eating points to ARFID.

And I just know he would be the sweetest.

Let's start with the first date. They were always nerve-wracking for you, because he told you he would be picking the place. But what if it had no options for you?

Other dates had gone south because of this. You hearing things along the lines of "why are you such a picky eater?" "you're an adult, you should eat everything!"

It goes without saying you've been out of the dating scene for a while. But something told you that Noah was different. He was very kind and caring, it was difficult for you to picture him being an asshole to you like the other ones.

Once you get to the restaurant, you start to scan the menu, hoping he isn't one of those people who like to order for each other.

Salmon, fish, oyster... as you keep reading, the fear gets worse and worse, because sea food is really NOT your thing.

But then you get to the kids menu and your eyes finally land on the chicken and fries plate.

Noah obviously notices this, and he obviously thinks he fucked up because why the hell would he not ask you if you liked sea food before picking the restaurant??

"You don't like sea food, do you?" He asks with a shy smile.

"It's not that I don't li-" "You can say you don't like it, it's totally fine, I won't be upset or anything" so you tell him that it's actually not your preferred food.

He stands up from his seat and extends his hand for you to take "c'mon, let's go eat something we're both going to enjoy. I'm not gonna let us have a shitty first date"

You're honestly shocked, because he is going out of his way to make sure you enjoy tonight.

The months pass and he notices habits you have. Like pushing aside some things on your plate, or checking your burger to see if everything is ok. And he really wants to ask, but he doesn't know how. And he doesn't want to offend you.

The day he really can't help it is when he invites you backstage to a show he is performing. In the rush that is everything before a concert, he really doesn't notice you don't eat anything from the catering table.

You give him a kiss for good luck and take your place side stage to watch him.

Towards the end of the concert, he notices you're gone. But he just thinks it's a bathroom break or something of the sort.

He thanks the fans, they throw the towels and guitar picks and he heads backstage when someone stops him. "Hey, man. You should check on Y/N, she doesn't seem like she's very well"

He frowns and runs to where you are, noticing that you are, in fact, very pale, your hands are shaking and cold.

"What happened, baby?"

"I just need to eat something, I'll be fine"

"When was the last time you ate? Here, we have food around here, grab a plate" He starts to look around but notices you're not on the same wavelength as he is with this.

So you have no other option but to tell him. The hard time you had as a kid, the never eating from the school cafeteria, or your parents not being able to go to restaurants because you don't eat anything there.

The patronizing looks you got when you told people you don't eat hot dogs. Or soup. Or sushi. Or sea food.

After this, he always makes sure he walks around with a safe snack for you. He calls hotels to make sure they have safe options for you to eat for breakfast. Checks every restaurant menu beforehand. Talks to his tour management about food options for the catering they have.

But he also encourages you to eat different things. So he always buys things he thinks you're going to enjoy. He says it's a win-win situation, because if you don't eat it, then he can have it himself.

I would like to write more on this topic, so if you have suggestions, you can send them!

[pbandjesse]

It was a mostly productive day. I did almost everything I was hoping to do. I accomplished almost all the things. It was a pretty nice day overall.

I slept fine. I had stress dreams and I woke up a bunch but I didn't feel to bad when I woke up. I wouldn't get out of bed for a while. But I wasn't really in a rush to do anything so it was fine.

When I did get up I took a quick shower and got dressed. I used dry shampoo because I want to wash my hair tomorrow morning before the event I'm working. I felt pretty cute though and was in a pretty good mood.

James left me breakfast. And I ate that at the kitchen island while I wrote up a little list of things I wanted to pick up today.

My plan was to go to Joann's, then home deport, then the thrift store. I would probably get lunch while I was out.

And I stuck pretty well to the list. I would leave the house after putting Ruby the Roomba upstairs. I was annoyed with myself when I was a few minutes away from home and realized I forgot the wallpaper sample I was trying to color match. But I decided it would be fine and it was I was just annoyed with myself.

I got to Joann's first. I wanted to get yarn to continue on my puff quilt. I thought I got the correct maroon but it ended up being more purple when I got home. Annoying but whatever. I did get grey and some multi grey that will be nice for my next project. I was also there for thread but for some reason there was only one single spool of the quilting thread I like, and barely any black thread at all??? I would get 3 black and 3 white. It was bizarre though.

When I was waiting in line a woman came back in to explain to the manager that she bought something for $6.25. Paid with a $10. But got $6.25 back in change. Oops! It was very honest of her to come back and get it fixed though.

I paid for my stuff and headed out of there. And went over to Home Depot. Which was less productive and that was a little frustrating but is fine. I was able to color match pretty well based off of a picture on my phone. But their Internet was down so they couldn't mix paint?? The whole system was down. Ah well. I'll try the other Home Depot closer to us later this week I guess.

I did get caulk for our bathtub and got a really good deal on batteries. So it wasn't the worst stop.

I went to savers next. I would find a different type of pregnancy pillow that I'm excited to try. And I got the exact same UGG brand moccasins I have been wearing so it was exciting to have a backup pair. Basically brand new and only $7. I would also pick up a couple dresses I can wear for events at the museum. I wanted stuff with sleeves. It was a good haul and I felt good about my choices.

I had a nice time walking around the store but it was weirdly busy. I didn't linger. Instead I left there and went to get lunch at Burger King, which is in the same parking lot.

I got my veggie burger and watched TikToks and half people watched. Seems a lot of truck drivers stop at this Burger King.

I decided to make one more stop at the sort of terrible goodwill. It continued to be terrible but I did get a caulk gun thing. I already have one but it is nice to have a backup. Since I was already going to be recaulking this week so it was on my mind.

I went home after that. I was sort of tired but mostly I just wanted to be in our house.

When I got back here I brought almost everything inside. Tried on my dresses. And started working on some more grey squares for my puff quilt. I got one down before I took a break to go and move the car (to be right in front of our house) so I could organize the car and finish bringing things inside.

It was chilly out today. It is actually feeling like fall. Which is very nice. And it inspired me to go through my closet and put some warmer weather options away and make space to hang some sweaters and sweatshirts up.

I spent an hour or so working on that but I felt to overwhelmed to fold the clothes I wanted to put away so it's just a pile again which makes me upset but it will get done eventually.

I would work on cleaning the fish tank. Nothing is in there except for snails, or at least that's what I thought. I have been thinking about getting a beta again. I don't think my heart can take losing more frogs so I am going to take a break on them after the last couple deaths.

But when I was taking out the decor my loach, kittykitty, wormed out and was going all over the place s d I was so excited! I am so happy to know he's still in there even if I don't see him much, for literally months.

I spent a good amount of time cleaning that though. I rearranged the decor and took a few things out that had a ton of snail eggs. I put those in the dishwasher to try and eradicate those. I will probably vacuum the rocks a few more times but for now it's settling and looking good.

I would also dig Crabcake up. I worry about him so much. I woke up him a wrapped him in a dishtowel and tried to get him to sleep in his metal cup so I could at least see him. But that would only last a few hours. Soon he was going back to his hole and burying himself again. Celia says I need to just let him do it and trust that he is alright. It is just so hard!! I just worry about him so much.

James would get home while I was painting on the ceiling again. They had stopped at the grocery store and go more spring rolls. And would make me two of those for dinner. They would also bring one of the ladder up for me so I could paint outlines on my ceiling flower. It is nice to see the whole thing keep growing. It building up and layering nicely.

James was baking the bread they made yesterday. And would spend a while in there. I would head upstairs and they brought me the spring rolls and they were great.

I would hang out in our room for a long time. James would periodically come and see me. And while their second loof was baking they came and held me and helped push on my lower back that was hurting so much. Thankfully my back hasn't been to bad but sometimes it is just so sharply painful. It sucks and it doesn't seem like there is anything I can do to help it.

While I was hanging out today we found out that My Chemical Romance is going on tour. And me and Jess are going to try and go to the Philly show. I am really anxious about trying to get tickets, and just the Ticketmaster system with dynamic pricing. We have a budget though and I am really hoping we can get them. Even if I am very stressed thinking about it. They go on sale Friday morning, so I have an alarm set so I'll be ready.

Eventually I would take a quick shower. And me and James are hanging out in bed. I am not feeling amazing right now but I am trying to just be comfortable and hopefully I can sleep easy.

Im working an event tomorrow. So I am planning on a quiet morning. I hope it's a fun event though and that everyone is nice. I hope you all have a great night. Be safe. I love you all. Goodnight

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #211

I had work today from 9am until 1pm. All things considered, I was fairly well-slept.

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday is that after my adulting and errands, I decided to get myself some prizes. One of the prizes was a neck pillow, to try to make sleep a little less painful. The other one was a sleep mask so that I might be able to nap a little better during the day if I gotta. And I got a unicorn hat for Br. I also got a very pretty bow; I'll show it to you:

...I like it!!! It matches my sweater!!! So I wore it to work today, even though my work outfit is all black. Even the apron is black. But the bow allowed for a visible splash of color. My socks give me a splash of color underneath all the black, but no one can see it because they are in my shoes, and that's kinda sad.

...Wait!!! I forgot!!! I have a camera!!! I can fix that!!! One sec!!!

These are my socks today. No, I don't wear matching socks; I find mismatched ones to be a bit more interesting because then I can have more colors!!!

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you wear colorful socks under all that black? I wonder.

I remembered to drink water and eat food before my work shift (yay!). Today, I made a hotdog for breakfast! I put the sauteed onions, peppers, and mushrooms that I made the other day on it, and then I put on the leftover Frito cheese from that picnic we had with R. And it was an AMAZING hotdog!!! But I got a little too excited after it came out of the microwave, and I bit into it a little too soon, and I ended up burning my tongue. 😭 So that's gonna be very annoying for the next couple of days, at least. Oh well.

Hey, Sephiroth? Have you ever gotten so excited to eat some tasty thing that you bit into it a little too soon? In my world, it's a fairly common thing to burn your tongue on hot pizza and the like, but anything will do it if it's too hot. What sorts of foods do you get so excited over that it's difficult to wait until it's cool enough to eat?

When I came back home, I worked more on the music box. I tried putting together an un-transposed version of the song onto the digital music box paper, and actually, I like this one a little better than the transposed version, so tomorrow, when my brain is less fried, this will be the version of it that I stick back into LMMS.

It rained a lot today. It is a warm, heavy, and very lovely sort of rain. The air smells wonderful for it, and I wish that I could sit with you in an enclosed porch, listening to it and breathing in the smell while holding mugs of hot tea. I can't do that though, so instead I got a couple of short videos for you:

Sephiroth, do you like the sound and the smell of the rain? If it's a warm rain, do you like the way it feels on your hair and skin? I like the rain, as long as I don't have to be in it when it's cold. Today I wanted to go dance in it, but instead I had to buckle down and focus because I really wanna get this music box done...

At some point, J and I went over to Br's house. As you might expect, I worked more on the music box. Br made burgers and shared them with us! She also made a fruit cobbler out of oatmeal:

It was absolutely delectable! But since I burned my tongue this morning, the acids in the fruit irritated it a lot. That's okay though; I ate it anyway, and it was so good!

The flowers that Br planted are in bloom. I took a couple of pictures of them while it was raining; I thought the sparkly water drops on the leaves were very pretty:

...I am back home now. And golly, I'm very tired. Still, I wanted to write to you about this very ordinary day I've had. I know you said you wanted a normal life, and... after a long struggle, I finally have one, so I wanted to show you what it's like.

Sephiroth, you can have a normal, ordinary life if you make choices that are consistent with a normal, ordinary life. I'm trying to show you how to make those choices. I come from abuse and suffering, but still, I can love the rain, and I can love the flowers, and I can love the people around me, and I can love you enough to create another music box. I can eat tasty things and get overexcited, fail to delay gratification, deal with an annoying problem as a result. It's an ordinary life full of ordinary things and spectacularly beautiful things, and everything in between.

You can have it. All you have to do is walk towards it. I'll be waiting for you when you do.

Hey, Sephiroth? I'm gonna stop writing and go to bed now. My body is very tired from being on my feet for a long time, and my mind is tired from putting black dots on a white background with crisscrossing lines and note labels.

I hope... someday... maybe... you can tell me what things are like for you, over there where you are. I know it's impossible, but... still, I'll hope for it. Why not.

I love you. Please stay safe out there in the world. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[orionlancasterr]

Oc interview

I was tagged by @adelaidedrubman !

Judas King and Mary Hart agreed to sit down with Lauren Westfield for a couple preemptive interviews with her podcast and YouTube series, Case Files.

name 

“Judas- oh you probably want the full thing, um, Judas King.”

nickname

“The Chosen One, Wrath, Sinner- I think Jacob called me the executioner once…”

Upon seeing Laurens growing discomfort Judas trails off, his face growing red

“Sorry that’s not what you meant. No I don’t really have any, Judas doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames. Skunk tried Jude once but it didn’t feel right.”

gender

“Male, mostly.”

star sign

“Aquarius I think? Mary talks about it a lot.

personality type

“I dont want to be a dick but I don’t really know what this has to do with Edens gate..”

Laura frowns a little, scratching at the back of her head. “We just want to get to know you a little better before we y’know get into the juicy stuff.”

“Oh right, you’re just gonna have to bear with me on some of these, my um, my whole world has been about this stuff uncensored for like five years.”

“Right, of course!” Lauren gives a sort of forced laugh.

height

“5’5 I think, they measured at the last doctors appointment.”

orientation:

“I’ve mostly been using gay but I’ve been reading a lot online and I think I like queer more- I don’t like specific labels.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“American, obviously but I think French? I have a second cousin twice removed something or other that lives over there but I’m not really sure.”

fave fruit 

“I love oranges- more than anyone should and I had one for the first time in years the other day and I gotta say even the best batch of bliss couldn’t beat that shit.”

Lauren, while still uncomfortable makes no move to change the subject this time.

fave season

“Early fall-late summer. The rain brings a chill and I think the mountains are best when it’s wet out.”

fave flower 

“I think bindweed flowers are really cute, unfortunely bindweed sucks.”

fave scent 

“There is this polish I use the interior of cars, mothers, it’s like a plastic restorer anyways that shit smells so good.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“I didn’t like coffee or tea for a while but I’ve recently gotten into iced coffee, I like caramel iced lattes apparently.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Good nights, 5-6 but I can easily go a night or two without sleeping. Night terrors. But the guys say I still flail around and shit on the good ones.”

Judas chuckled at this one.

dog or cat person

“Bears. I volunteered at a wildlife rehab center before the reapings and we had this bear, cheeseburger, a big old boy who was found by one of the senior members found him shoving trash in his face behind Chad’s old place. Burgers, fries, onion rings you name it Cheeseburger ate it. So he took him in anyways after everything went down Wade radioed in saying he had to release him because the Jacob wanted to experiment so I tracked him down. Found out he was diabetic and needed insulin so we became buddies. He’s in Yellowstone Wildlife Sanctuary now and I visit him every few days.”

It’s at this point Judas pulls out a phone and starts showing the staff pictures of a severely obese grizzly bear wearing a collar, at which they coo and awe. In newer photos he has lost a considerable amount weight.

dream trip 

“Climb every mountain range in North America. I met a guy when I was a kid on a hike that did that, his name was trinket and he was like 70 years old climbing the continental divide in colorado. Said he sold everything a few years ago to fund his mission. I’d like to start in the south, Saturn says the Appalachians are pretty.”

“I don’t want to assume anything but wouldn’t you be sick of mountains at this point I mean…after everything that happened in the whitetails?”

Judas laughs. “It’s not the mountains fault some lunatic decided to murder and maim a bunch of people.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Optimus Prime, they made like three more transformers movies and I made everyone promise to watch them with me when we get home.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“I have a weighted blanket and, okay don’t make fun of me, my baby blanket under that. It’s basically like a two foot square of worn out fabric at this point but we found it in the house after. Um. After.”

It’s at this point Judas begins to look upset for the first time during the interview. Lauren quickly asks the next question.

random fact:

“I thought it would be fun to teach boomer how to launch himself off my back but now he does it at random. It hurts, I’m sorry it’s been nice do you mind if I um. If I go sit outside for a little bit?”

“Of course not, take your time.”

————

name 

“Marilyn Ellen Hart, please don’t call me Marilyn.”

nickname

“Mary, it’s the preferred name.”

She smiles charmingly, directly at the camera.

gender

“Female.”

star sign

“Aries sun, Capricorn moon and Sagittarius rising. This should be a shock to no one.”

This draws a laugh out Lauren.

personality type

“ENFP, crowds really get me going, I love talking to people. It’s why I love playing shows. Yeah sure the music is the thing that keeps me going after everything but the people make me feel alive.”

height

“Five feet two inches exactly. I got my drivers licence a few days ago. It’s crazy how many rules there are to driving in the real world. Skunk and Nick had two rules. Don’t hit anyone and stay on the pavement.”

Another laugh bubbles out of the staff and is met with a brilliant smile from Mary.

orientation:

“Lesbian but Judas and Daisy keep reading articles too me and maybe I’m also asexual. I haven’t decided yet.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“Raised in America but I was adopted from Ukraine.”

fave fruit 

“Strawberries. Like good fresh sweet ones. The ones from the store aren’t nearly as good.”

fave season

“Summer. Hot, sunny days, as dry and bright as possible.”

fave flower 

“Daisy”

She winks at the camera

fave scent 

“BBQ, I love a good vinegar based sauce.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“Saturn got me hooked on sweet iced tea.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Recently I’ve been getting full nights sleep without smoking now that’s wild to me.”

dog or cat person

“Does peaches count as a cat?”

She looks past the camera and grins at someone. Laura asks who peaches is.

“Peaches, my dear, is this badass cougar we found eating so- I’m not allowed to say that am I? We found her in the Henbane.  Her owner just. Handed her to us, a trio of eighteen year old kids. She’s the sweetest thing…most of the time. She’s at Yellowstone with Cheeseburger. Apparently they tried to separate them but I imagine it didn’t go well because they were together again within like two days.”

Dream trip

“The ocean, we’re driving down California in a few weeks and I made them promise to take me to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Misa Amane, from death note. I was obsessed with her in middle school.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“Whatever is in the back of the van. Usually a throw and Judas’s weighted blanket.”

random fact:

“I had to learn how to whittle my own sticks because the ones we’d scavenge kept snapping on me. I still use my own at shows.”

I’ll tag @vault81 @bleumanouche @chaosintheavenue and anyone who wants to!

[rieson]

JUST CWME BACK FROM.THE PARADE IT WAS SO FUN !!!!!! I ATE a REALLY GOOD BURGER and I TOOK A PICTURE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAD A COSTUME OF THE MAD HATTER!!!!! he even called me alice it Was so cute and the pic came out so cool AND I DANCED WITH A KID TOO.now im compltetely worn out and drained BUT IT WAS SO FUN IT WAS THE BEST DAY I SO.APPPY ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE PICTURE !!!!!!!!

ooh ooh, that sounds like a really festive day!!! i'm glad you enjoyed your time and found so many positives attending there :DD

u have upgraded from good fries to good burgers...YUM!!! and that's so cool, other people dressed up as well? that's awesome!! hope the pictures with the mad hatter turned out well. how did you end up dancing with a kid? did they have good moves? lolol

i'm happy to hear u had a really good time there !! the parades sound so lively, hmm i'll add brazil to my bucket list of places to travel to maybe 🤔

make sure to rest well to recharge yourself !! 🫶

[merryjuan]

Dublin Trip

So I mentioned earlier I would talk about my first ever Europe trip, which was ten days and 2 countries. I started my trip in Dublin Ireland. I wanted to go day by day but I’ll instead just talk about the highlights and what I thought of them. All pictures are my own.

Kilmainham Gaol – A jail in Dublin with amazing history and a famous list of convicts, including Joseph Plunkett and many others involved in the 1916 easter uprising (famously called bloody sunday also the title of the irish band U2’s song). Almost didn’t go here, was totally unplanned and needed to get a ticket, I am lucky I arrived early in the morning and even though I didn’t have a ticket I was able to get in the upcoming tour and boy am I glad, this was actually my favorite museum in Dublin, so much history and an amazing building. My guide Daisy was also very attractive which was pleasant but honestly I think this is an absolute must for anyone visiting Dublin.

Temple Bar – I went here twice, once to eat lunch and later in the same day to drink. This is definetly the most popular area in town for drinking and was very busy on the friday night I went, but as the night went on I saw a group of girls, who seemed to be local huffing nitrous oxide ballons and that was enough for me. I left shortly after and did not return except to pass through. I still liked this area as it is the party area in town and has the best nightlife and honestly was having a good time until seeing these girls. As someone who has battled with addiction it made me very uncomfortable to see this. Plus drink prices in this area are higher than other areas as it is a very touristy part of town. If your’re in this part of town stop by bunsen for a delicious burger

Phoenix Park – absolutley massive park near dublin, I rented a bike and barely did it all in an hour, probably should’ve rented for 3 hours and just given it back after 2 and at least done the whole thing but oh well, did get really luck and saw some very freindly deer, I didn’t have food but it didn’t matter I was still able to get very close to them.

Guiness Brewery and tour – this was a pretty nice tour for being self-guided, there’s some interesting things to learn like the imagery of the harp and the toucan and other animals. that have become symbols of guiness, or that they are the only brewery to roast their own barley, which makes for its distinct color and flavor I also learned a butt load is an actual unit of measurement (125-150 gallons, depending on where you are in the world). You do get a free beer at the top, and it offers some great views of dublin, I went a bit crazy in the merch shop here, I love guiness as a beer and enjoyed the tour, which takes 30 minutes or so to really soak it in or a few minutes if you just run up the stairs to get a “free” beer at the top which I can’t blame you if you did.

Dún Laoghaire – That’s not pronounced how you might suspect. I came here on my last day and took the DART train. I did not have to wait long either time for a train. It was several stops and took roughly 20 minutes to arrive. It was a rainy day the day I arrived so it was very calm and quiet, I did dip my toes in the very cold water, which is what I really wanted to do anyway, as I like to touch water in every place I visit. I ate a lunch at a mall near the railway and got ready to leave.

Jameson Distillery tour – This is a tour with a guide, you will also get a free drink coupon you can enjoy your drink before, during or after the tour. You also will get a few tasters at the end of the tour. I would personally prefer this tour to the guiness one it terms of value.

Frank Ryans/Fidelity bar/Brogans/collins barracks – honorable mention places I’d recommend.

Overall I loved Dublin, It was totally not on my radar at all but I really think its a nice town with a lot of rich history, a tradition of of fighting for independence, being the first country to legalize gay marriage in 2005, exceptional quality in brewng and distilling, and some absolutely massive sea gulls (of which I did not photograph) I loved dublin and it was an unexpected treat, 5 days was the perfect amount of time there I was able to do and this was mostly everything I did in the 5 days, I hope one day to return to Ireland’s beautiful coasts again.

[knifeforkspoonhand]

Top left: Vietnamese beef stew, which I had for the first time. I found it very rich and salty, with the beef being so tender that it cut so easily under my spoon. I could taste tomato. I really liked the spring onion that balanced out the other flavours. The bread was delicious; it was crusty and flakey on the outside with a pillowy soft interior. I've never had a bad service at the banh mi place I ate it at but had some catty customers in there today.

Top right: some filo pastries I made for a friend. I made the filling by dicing a small courgette and a red pepper, frying it in a pan until soft with some salt. Then, I added some cannellini beans, some garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, dried oregano and ground black pepper. I added shredded cheese when I was filling the pastries and brushed oil between every layer of the fold as well as the outside. The end result was a flaky pastry with a soft, savoury inside. The beans really created a 'body' in that it had a thick and pleasant mouthfeel that I don't think the veg could've done on its own. My friend and their partner enjoyed them.

Middle left: it was meant to be a burnt basque cheesecake. My oven is pretty bad at distributing heat at the top, which is good for fluffy bakes but less so for anything that needs a golden exterior. However, it was really delicious on its own. It has a thick, mousse-like texture that felt incredibly decadent. The flavour was rich, with a bit of tang from the sour cream offsetting the sweetness of it. I'm looking forward to making this one again.

Middle right: some mendhi/henna my younger sibling did on my hands. I practically begged them to and was really happy the days after that it stayed on. I wish I had gotten a picture after I washed it off. It was a beautiful rich orange. I was always taught to apply mustard oil afterwards and wash off the excess to make the colour look richer. It's a pretty good moisturiser, too.

Bottom left: cheesecake brownies. Someone I knew was leaving and I wanted to make something for them as a thank you for all the help I've gotten from them. The brownie base was very rich in its chocolate flavour, with it having 200g of dark 70% chocolate. The cheesecake topping is swirled in with remaining batter, with crushed pistachios on one side of it.

Bottom right: they were meant to be burger patties. I'm not fantastic at shaping them. I seasoned them with Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper and onion powder. We are them in brioche buns (that were on sale), shredded cheese, onions fried in the leftover flavoured cooking fat, salted tomatoes and leaves of gem lettuce. As much as everyone else enjoyed them, I didn't and it was too much of a chore to make.

[lostinmyhidingplace]

Where to hide?

I think the worse part of it all is that I can't confront the situation because I'm not sure if it even happened. It took me weeks to recognize that something sinister had happened. It took retelling the story to others and trying to make a self deprecating joke about it and being met with pity. And the V word. I hate that word. I want to be known for the things I've done, not the things that have been done to me. I've always pictured my name next to words like Writer, Actor, Director, Socialite. Titles that made people look at me with pride, with envy, maybe even with hate but never with pity. And the worst part of it is there's nowhere to go from here if I don't know what happened for certain. And I'll never know. Which means that no matter how good of a day I have, how much I accomplish, how far I go.. it'll be there. The unanswered questions haunting me. I've always been a big drinker, why did I black out after 3 drinks? I hadn't ate much that day, how long was I on his bathroom floor throwing up for? Where did my tampon go? The craziest thing is that I saw him one more time after that and he kissed me and my body froze. And I tried to pull away and he wouldn't let me so I just stood there frozen. I didn't abruptly end it out of fear that it would turn violent. I figured it would just be easier to endure it. Why would I force myself to see him again if he did something horrible to me? Questions that didn't even really occur to me until I told my friend the story in between laughs and her laughter slowly muffled and then inevitably came to a halt. And once I finally made peace with the fact that I would never know and I just needed to move on with my life. And I had, burying it deep inside me and creating more layers of interesting and funny of myself that it would be impossible to unearth. There he was. 4 years later. In a drunk crowded bar I had my sunglasses on and was dancing with my eyes closed. Feeling alive. And when I opened my eyes there he was staring at me. And I felt sick again. So I tried to hide, figured the club was big enough for the two of us. And instead I accidentally walked myself into a corner where it was just the two of us. And at first this motherfucker pretended not to know me. So I played along. And he said "Hi I'm ____ and you look so familiar" I avoided eye contact with him and said nope don't think so. He sits next to me and after a few questions he fakes an epiphany and says "I do know you, we went on a few dates a while back". And I try and pretend not to remember while trying my hardest to scoot over. Looking for my friend. Praying and pleading to any God that may or may not have existed that she would come out of the bathroom to save me. That anyone would walk by and take me out of this hell. And then he puts his hand on my leg, much further up than I would've ever let a stranger. And my heart stops. And again I just fucking freeze. I don't do anything. It feels like I'm across the room watching myself. And as he touches my leg he says "We should hang out again. And watch Bob's Burgers, that's still your favorite right?" The man who I went on 3 dates with over 4 years ago and "Allegedly" wasn't sure who I was but could remember my favorite thing. Like it belonged to him and not me. And suddenly those layers of interesting and funny I had built for myself just melted away and the only thing I was left with was unanswered questions. "We're going to hang out again" was the most terrifying and threatening sentence I had ever heard. He pulls out his phone and ask me to give my number. Thinking I'm slick I pull out my phone and say "No give me yours and I'll call you." Dying for this interaction to fucking end, I'm not paying attention to what he's doing on my phone. Of course he calls himself. He finally lifts his hand off my leg and I realize I've been holding my breath this whole time. I exhale. I see him two more times that night and his over familiar tone and body language with me made me want to dig my nails into my wrists.

[idiotik-star]

based on this prompt

word count-805

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Teddy paced back and forth, awaiting the results. She was too nervous to think about anything else but if she made the team. Before Teddy could start bitting her nails again she heard the hallway door open.

“Oh my god you wouldn’t believe how annoyed the front office was, they didn’t want to let me back into the school for ‘safety reasons’ like c’mon! I go to school here I just grabbed food while waiting for the new cheer team to be announced. Oh beeteedubs they didn’t have green tea so I just got you an unsweet tea.”

Teddy couldn’t explain how or why but the second Sara got there her nerves started to calm. “Unsweet works,” Teddy looked into the bag of food. “Did you eat my fries?” Sara just smiled. “Like you were going to eat them, on a good day you eat half and right now you’re so nervous that I’d be surprised if you ate the whole burger.”

Teddy rolled her eyes, choosing to grab her food instead of responding. After they both ate their food Teddy checked the time. 6:40. She immediately stood up and started pacing again. “I’m surprised you were able to relax long enough to eat.” Sara stated just after checking the time herself.

“You know we deserve a sweet treat after this, I’m thinking ice cream, maybe sonic. But you definitely need one after all this stress,” Sara started rambling. “In fear of you looking like an absolute crackhead, I’m gonna need you to sit down babes, the rest of the girls should showing up any second now.” She continued.

Just like magic most of the other people from tryouts showed to see the results. Coach Nick walked out of his office holding a paper. Stopping just before putting it on the wall he announced. “Remember top to bottom is the order of how well you did, if your number is here you made the team, the person who scored the highest is captain so they won’t be at the top of the page but instead under captain, but if they would like a co-captain then the next highest score is co-captain.” He paused to tape the paper to that wall. “No one should know your number unless you chose to tell them, that being said.” He walked away for the group to storm the sheet.

Teddy hung back, now too nervous to try to push past everyone. Sara seemed to catch on and using every fiber of her being tried to be as nonchalant as Teddy was coming off. Once the initial heard of people checking and then taking pictures if they made it had dissipated Sara grabbed Teddy’s hand.

“You know I couldn’t care about making it but I know you really care so we can go together, or I can go for you. Your choice.” Sara waited for Teddy to respond. “Together, I’ll look for you, and you for me. I’m number 4.” Teddy crocked. Sara smiled. “Well now I know the results, there’s no way we both got our lucky number.” Teddy laughed. “On three.” “1” “2” “3!” Sara ran to the sheet pulling Teddy with her. As Teddy looked for Sara’s number, 7, she froze.

“You’re top of the page.” Teddy breathed out. Sara looked at Teddy, “That means I was second best, but that doesn’t matter. I found you.” Sara’s eyes twinkled, she then pointed to number 4.

Teddy’s eyes fell on her number, number 4 right under where Coach Nick said the captains would be. She blinked seeming to not believe it. “I’m captain?” “You’re the fucking captain!” Sara shouted while shaking Teddy.

“And you’re gonna be my right hand man, since you came second to me.” Teddy said. Sara grabbing their trash and pulling Teddy towards the exit. “I only did so well because I had the captain helping me. So what’s the verdict on that sweet treat?”

“The verdict is my treat I gotta celebrate my girlfriend getting co-captain.” Teddy said while grabbing Sara’s hand. “Not fair, how am I supposed to celebrate my girlfriend getting captain?” Sara said while pushing the door open.

“I know one thing I would like.” Teddy commented quickly before pulling Sara in for a kiss. “Haha funny but I’m buying you lunch tomorrow.” Sara said before kissing Teddy again. “As much as I love kissing you, I think I like ice cream more so let’s go before they close.” Sara said after pulling away.

The two got into Sara’s car blasting music and screaming the lyrics. They quickly made it the ice cream shop. As they pulled in they saw the shop with a car driven through it. As a cop walked over to them Teddy turned to Sara. “So I guess that means we’re not getting ice cream.” She joked.

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whoop whoop 2 for 2 lets see how long i can keep this up! before any of y’all try to point out how unrealistic a car turning a building into a drive though is ill have you know it’s happened twice in my town

[cubikzoa]

WIZARD TRAVEL VLOG

This week I’m in R’lyeh City, South Pacific Ocean, during summer break. I received a visitation passport from my school, Vyr’los University of Occult Sciences. Today I’ll be rating my stay on this travel vlog!

Picture I took of the city. Super cool view, accommodations for air-breathers and void-breathers were pretty good as well. You do have to pay a fee for a respirator however so come prepared. I booked a room at the Motel 666 on the Main Street. It was pretty nice compared to mortal Motel 6’s. The blood rainfall shower head was really relaxing, it wasn’t too clotted either. Good breakfast. Wi-Fi at the bottom of the ocean was a bit spotty. 8.5/10, would stay here again.

The city was really crazily beautiful and clean, no issues with blood-drinking barnacles or leviathan larvae. Found a really cute ritual resale shop and bought a very pretty cursed abalone talisman. Great souvenir, go for stuff other than the city gift shop stuff. Cheap and overpriced, they use human skin pleather instead of real human skin leather on the souvenir Grimoires.

Had a very good lunch at the local Burger King in Yellow. They had vegetarian options as well as carnivore, sanguine, and omnivore. Went for a barbecue brain coral burger with cheddar and a very nice seaweed coleslaw. Staff was great, sociable and pleasantly surprised that I knew a bit of Old Tongue lol. Seems they get a lot of uptight scholarly types who only want to speak English or Latin. Ugh. I tipped extra. I’d give it a 6/10, only because the burger was very heavy on the mustard.

Finished the day at the Grand Library. A bit of a line for precautionary check in, you have to go through a True Sight check before they allow you in. Very considerate that they don’t want damage to anyone’s brains and/or soul. Sight check went excellently, they do get a few humans down here who don’t test well. Seems they had some blathering idiot wander down here a bit ago complaining about sunken unsinkable ships and exploding submarine refunds. An intern ate him because he was so annoying and honestly I can’t blame them.

The library was magnificent! The architecture was in the Non-Euclidean geometric style, with beautiful frameless candle lighting and individual cubicles and tables. You do need to grab a pair of cleated boots off the shoe rack to use the shelf ladders if you aren’t gravity-resistant or can’t fly, as they’re a bit unreliable. Twisty and upside-down in places, and follows the architectural curve. And the scale of it was astonishing. The most books I’ve ever seen in one place! They had some Old-Kingdom Egyptian classics ofc, a few Educational Necronomicon Textbooks levels 1-7 for student checkout, a bunch of mentally paradoxical novels, an entire Truthful Nonfiction section, and a rare books area that had a Sibylline Scroll and a Inter-Mentalic Elder Tome among other things (you need academic permission for these ones).

They don’t get too many Human students, it was super fun to see how different dimensional cultures interact. Hung out with a shoal of Deep Ones, Tyreemek and Ordantuuk were exchange students at Vyr’los, and I had some snacks with me from the surface so they and their buddies were ecstatic about the taste and concepts of tangerines and ritz crackers. The Library’s help desk was run by a very nice Shoggoth, she appreciated my compliment that her 2,437 turquoise-painted nails were very well done. I was struggling with directions to the Library Café, I don’t speak Shambler and it seems that the Café was a bit difficult to perceive at the time. Could be location, but I was pretty tired as well after a full day.

Ordered a nice steaming hot cup of mint-flavored insani-tea with extra honey and a dream puff pastry for the road. Tea was delicious, just sweet enough & not too hot and not cold either. Dream puff pastry was a little heavy on the powdered sugar, but the nightshade and lavender jelly with cinnamon was good. Came in a very cute paper bag with a little grinning book on it that said: “Recycle! Keep our oceans clean or else!” I’d give the Cafe a solid 9/10, and the wonderful library a very definite 10/10.

Went back to my Motel room for the night, the bioluminescent nighttime lighting is great for good rest. The wiggly-shaped glass aquarium on the bedside table had live eels and purple jellyfish in it and was very calming. I’ll have to remember to feed them in the morning.

Tomorrow will be a solid day of studying, 1/4 day classes, and maybe a trip to the nearby Taco Hell for lunch. I’ve heard they have really good nine-layer dip that Dante gave them 5 stars for. So far this trip has been thoroughly enjoyable, I definitely recommend a visit here, whether for occult academics, touring the city, or to see the nearby deep sea wilderness. There’s definitely a lot to see and do!

[crispyfryenperu]

Lima: 3 WEEKS THIS TIME

It was sooo chaotic. On the 7th of December, all in one day the president of Peru tried to dissolve congress, and then Congress voted out the president. Then the military backed congress, and a few hours later the the first female president of Peru was sworn in. It was all insane, but seemingly peaceful, so I continued happily with my life. A few days later I even went to Lima to hang out with my friends.

After returning, I was living life at site, and on the 14th of December, we received a message from our Safety and Security team, that we needed to pack clothes for three days and go to our evacuation point - the number of protests and blockades on the country’s freeways were too many to ignore. My site mate and I packed our things quickly, and went to the municipality to say good bye to our friends and socios. Our friends were extremely sad, and they toasted us good bye with macerado (pisco with fruit), and Christmas paneton. Many people cried. I didn’t cry, because I really thought we’d be back in two days, although after what happened with the pandemic evacuation and my friend Amber, I did pack my swimsuit, passports, Chivito, speaker and chargers, aka all the important stuff. My site mate, another close volunteer and I took the bus to the hotel in Lima and met the other volunteers there. Worried they would quickly give us rules not to leave the hotel, we went out shopping for pisco and ramen. 

Our last minute goodbye party, with our friends from the old municipality and the municipality dog. 

They then moved us to a nicer hotel, and didn’t give us anymore rules. It was nostalgic to be back with my training group, the bubbly economic group and all the on-the-spectrum engineers. We also got to meet the new group of health and youth development volunteers. They recently completed training and were only in-site about 3 days before everyone was evacuated to Lima.  My friends and I started training for the Amazon River race. On our way to linner, we’d often take the train, then bike a mile, then take a bus. We ate Indian food, vegan ceviche, Mexican food, pizza, arepas, poke, Vietnamese food, açaí bowls, Chinese food, and GREAT matcha boba. Our hotel was in a very asian and vegan area- amazing. And i met a response volunteer who grew up in El Salvador, so we cooked beans, platanos, and something else that I can’t pronounce or spell. 

VEGAN CEVICHE! It also comes with fried chicken, made out of eggplant. It was incredibly good but also incredibly greasy and almost couldn’t eat it. Not sure if it’s meant to go in the ceviche or separate.

On Christmas my group of volunteers did a White Elephant gift exchange. The limit was 25 soles (which is $6.25). People bought pretty good gifts including Uno, moon sand, games, clothes. I got a cute Peruvian llama headband, and my gift was a small string of bee-shaped lights. I also ordered vegan food to go - a vegan ceviche and a vegan quinoa burger. Both were delicious! Peruvian ceviche is much different from other ceviche because they eat the raw fish with onion and lemon, BUT then put camote (sweet potato) cubes on top, corn, and half-popped corn kernels. The sweet potato is delicious! My vegan ceviche had mushrooms instead of fish. Ever since I got back to site (and now we are not allowed to go to Lima), I have been dreaming about that ceviche. On Christmas Day we all went out to eat with Christmas Hats on. We looked really cute so I almost can’t blame the strangers who took pictures of us. Almost, but I can.

For New Years, we had a small party in Miraflores. The volunteers went and made spaghetti - one of my friends’ boyfriends is a chef, so he helped make it extra delicious. Before midnight we walked to the malecon to watch the fireworks by the beach. We considered hitting the bars afterwards, but I guess we are really past our prime because instead, we all went to bed. 

Finally on January 6th they made plans for all the volunteers to go back to their sites. Since I am pretty close to Lima, I got back to site on January 7th. When I walked into my home, they were celebrating Pasqua, which is a word for the Bajada de Reyes, or the journey that the 3 kings took on their way to bless baby Jesus and give him gifts. They celebrate each day with dancing, prayers, and blessings for baby Jesus. Traditionally Calango has one dance group with musical group, that goes around the town from 7 am until 9 pm, for the three days of Pasqua. They stop a couple of hours for lunch. At the end of the three days, they stay up all night dancing, and burn some of their costumes and dance props. The musical group includes a flute, drum, and guitar. There are two main dances. One includes stomping a large decorated stick. The other dance is a dance between a couple, of a boy training to tame a bull. The pair dances with a bandana and imitates a bull fight. When I arrived at my home after three weeks in Lima, this dance group was at my house. They immediately asked me to dance. I said Woah, I haven’t even since these dances once, what am I supposed to do?! So they allowed me to watch them perform one time before throwing me in the bull ring. Even though I did my best to memorize the dance, I couldn’t remember the simple steps, and everyone was laughing in good spirits and wondering what in the world i was doing. THEN my tiredness must have set in, because while I was being a bull and trying to run into the red bandana, my foot slipped and I fell on my butt.  What a welcome home it was.

Also, the tradition was one dance group for the town. However, they disagreed on which hours to dance for, and how many days. So now our town has THREE different Pasqua dance groups! And they all go to houses, stores, the municipality, and the police station to ask for blessings and donations. That’s a lot of dance groups for a town of less than 2000 people. But that’s how it goes here, disagreements are serious. It’s the same when organizing and working with the water committees. 

[winslowat3am]

Good afternoon fellow traveler 👋🏻I hope you enjoy your birthday/vacation :D I miss the personal posts and I like it more than the other stuff you post so glad you’re being more personal again! Is it worth going to Disneyland Paris? I’ve never been to a park but I’ve read alot about Disneyland and the theme parks’ best parts and been saving up for my birthday this december. Let me know which other ones you recommend and if you really think is worth the hype.

Thank you! :)

Let me just say that first of all I'm not gay, but I'm gay for Buzz Lightdaddy, he's so big & strong, look at the miraculous crotch shot (lmfao, I'm hyped off candy so this response will probably be a mess, I'm sorry). Ugh, fuck. ❤️

I can't believe you've never been to a park, you have to go! No matter which you choose. ☺️ Every park has its pros & cons, I personally like some things better about Disney Paris like HyperSpace Mountain & Big Thunder Mountain, but I think Cali is the best park, overall. I'll actually be going to Disney Florida again with my wife in December for our one year anniversary, if you go there you might run into us! 🙈 We have a few places to go before then, though.

You can't really get bad food at a Disney park, either. I'm greedy asf, so I would know. I ate this all to myself & I still have guilt, completely violated my cheat day. You ever had food so tasty you had to get a picture of it just to remember the deliciosity? 😂 I genuinely adore people who take time to add hella toppings on pizzas. They're a different breed. If you go to the Paris location you have to try Colonel Hathi's Pizza Outpost! Also, you need to go on the Ratatouille ride, it's so cute! One of my faves.

The parade(s) were lit, the green army dudes (do they have a name?) & the cowboys & cowgirls were jamming out. Big dick Buzz, Woody & Jesse came into view & I lost it, lmao. Some of my favorite childhood chars came through (Lion King, Toy Story was everywhere tbh, lol, Mickey, I damn near cried when Mickey appeared 😩, also Winnie the Pooh, my sweet sweet Winnie 🥹). I think Paris are one of the best when it comes to interacting with the crowd & letting people get pictures with them. They genuinely seem happy to be there. *Also I am a huge fan of the seasonal decorations & landscaping*

I recommend going during the day & night, like we did. You get to see all the sexyness of the decorations at night!

There's so much to see, I can't post everything. Just try & see as much as you can if you decide to visit this park. (Make sure to try the Jedi Burger & visit the parks' other restaurants!) We also stayed in a hotel not too far away & got to visit the Eiffel tower & a few other places, try to get a hotel that isn't too far from tourist attractions. Make sure to buy some souvenirs, too, that was one of my favorite things. ☺️

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Head Full Of Demons (Part 5)

Summary: Dean is officially wanted by the police and is struggling with who is as a person. He knows he has to tell the reader what his life has been like all these years but it isn’t easy to finally speak the truth...

Masterlist

Pairing: Surgeon!Dean x surgeon!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, briefly mentioned child abuse, mention of kidnapping/deaths

A/N: Poor Dean. His life has not been easy in the slightest...

______

“How you feeling?” you asked a few hours later, returning to the room at the end of the complex. Dean fluttered open his eyes from where he lay on the motel bed, now in a fresh pair of sweatpants and a plain shirt and the hoodie from your backseat.

“Okay. I think the drugs are getting out of me,” he said, inhaling deeply as he spotted the takeout bag in your hands. 

“I got doubles of everything. Neither one of us ate much the past few days,” you said. You sat down on the other bed and closed your eyes, ripping the baseball cap off your head. “You have the news on at all?”

“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “My parents made it to national news. Lucky us. I hope Sam’s okay on his own.”

“He’ll be alright,” you said, taking out a burger for yourself and eating a few bites.

“They arrested my parents but haven’t said anything. No mention of you or me yet,” he said.

“You think it’s safe to go back?”

“No. I think your mom is trying to figure out how to explain all this without getting you in trouble. They probably-”

He cut himself off when the banner on the bottom of the muted TV changed and Dean’s picture flashed on the screen.

“Fuck,” he said, closing his eyes. He fell back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and shouting into it. You read the subtitles, a warrant out for Dean on kidnapping charges for you. He shouted himself hoarse while you ate, nearly jumping off the bed when you sat down on his and grabbed his hand.

“Hey,” you said softly. You pulled the pillow away, Dean’s face red and scrunched up. “Those guys don’t know what they’re talking about. I kidnapped you, remember?”

He let out a dry laugh, closing his eyes and dropping his head. 

“I believe you.”

“I hurt you once,” he said, sitting up with his back to the headboard. 

“I thought you promised to tell me the truth from now on. What really happened last night before you showed up at my house Dean?”

“It’s a long story,” he said quietly.

“Eat your dinner then while it’s warm and you can tell me after. I’m going to wash up quick,” you said. You stood up and took the few steps over to the bathroom door. “Dean.”

“Yeah?” You spun around, smiling softly, Dean looking small sat there. 

“Please be here when I come back out. You might think you’ve done something wrong but I can promise you haven’t.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because I know. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” You gently shut the door behind you, sighing and throwing your head back. 

God you hoped he was still there when you opened the door.

It was fifteen minutes later when you exited the bathroom after a shower, Dean sat back on bed, empty food wrappers in the trash bin.

“You want to take a shower?” you asked.

“I got one while you ran out to get food,” he said. “Your stitch work is good. I’d expect minimal scaring.”

“I’ll have to pick you up a cream later,” you said, sitting down on his bed. The pillows were lumpy but decent when you folded them in half, Dean interlacing his fingers with yours when you’d gotten comfortable. “You okay?”

“My default when it comes to my parents has always been to lie. Lie about them, what they do, say, have done. It’s second nature. It’s like, I better lie no matter what because what if they found out I talked. What if they found out someone knew something?”

“That’s the manipulation.”

“Yeah I know that,” he said. He curled his toes, digging them down into the bedspread. “I picked Sam over you. That’s what happened last night.”

“You care to explain that one?” you asked. “If you want to.”

“Honestly speaking, I’ve only ever been near two people when they’ve died. One had an embolism during heart surgery. No way to have known or stop it. The other was an overdose during my first year in the hospital when I was on an ER rotation. I’ve only ever lost two patients. I’m really fucking proud of that. Two out of over a thousand. I help people. Some of them are good and some of them are bad but my oath I took, the oath we both took, means we treat them the same. The job is to save them. Judgement is for someone else,” he said. He dropped your hand, toying with the drawstring of his sweatpants.

“Only two patients is amazing Dean. I’ve already lost seven and I’m not even done yet.”

“I kinda always think it’s my one lucky thing. I don’t have luck in the real world but at that hospital as a doctor…I get lucky and I help people. And I loved it. I loved it so much. It was the one place I had control of my own life. Until I made a mistake.”

“What mistake?” you asked quietly, a light rain coming down outside, tapping against the glass at the front of the room.

“A man did follow you and I did punch him but all that happened was he got scared and ran away. My mistake was being honest about where the bruised knuckles came from when my parents asked. I inadvertently told them that I cared about you. And they proceeded to use that information as a way of me not saying a word when my mom would show up to the hospital for work. She always did my patients, very careful to make sure they were mine. I knew what she was doing but…like I said, I’d accidentally told them I cared about you. Sam is a weak spot of mine but they had another and they’ve enjoyed exploiting it the past few years. When you became my student last year…they started to watch me more and more and more. Bugging my car, my phone. At work. Our break room. It’s how they knew what I said, that you’d pieced things together. So last night either I brought you to the cabin or I didn’t see Sam again. So I chose Sam.”

“But then you chose me.”

“Because you’re innocent. Sam and I have always known how we go out. It was a mistake to bring you there last night, to the wolves.”

“Sam would have been killed.”

“He was almost killed anyways.”

“How’d you get away? After Sam?”

“I punched my mom and ran like hell. I stole a car from a gas station to get back to town. I’m not sure which one of us was more surprised.”

“What I’m hearing is that the only crime you’ve ever committed is a little justified car theft and that you did nothing wrong.”

“I put your life in danger last night. I shouldn’t have-”

“You were trying to protect the only goddamn person you have in your life you can count on. I am not angry with you Dean and I won’t be. You’ve done nothing wrong. All we need is some proof that Mary killed those people and you’re fine. You can go home.”

“What home? You don’t think a pair of killers like them know how to pin a murder on someone else? They were my patients. I wouldn’t believe me.”

“Yeah but you hate yourself so you’re not exactly unbiased,” you said. He turned his head and stared, green eyes soft, vulnerable. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” he breathed out. “But I don’t understand why you don’t hate me.”

“Because you’ve done nothing to make me hate you.”

“What have I done to help?” he scoffed.

“Made me a better doctor. You make me question what’s in front of me and think. You make me realize how badly I could have been hurt if bio dad stuck around. You make me appreciate things more. You make me want to help people. That’s our job isn’t it? Even when it’s hard as fuck and we think we can’t do it we know we have to because no one else will.”

“You don’t have to be kind to me, Y/N.”

“You’re right. I don’t have to be kind. I want to,” you said. “Besides, I’m involved now. We’re both in this and we both come out of it. So we figure out how to prove that it was Mary, that you had nothing to do with those deaths, that you and Sam knew nothing and then…well then we can work on that you hating yourself thing.”

He nodded, smiling as he looked down to his lap. 

“I knew after our first shift together and you called me the dickhead from hell that you were going to be an amazing doctor,” he chuckled. “Because you didn’t put up with my shit.”

“I’ll put up with it Dean. But we’re going to work on it too. What can I say, I’m stubborn like my teacher.”

“Do you really think we got a shot of proving it was Mary?” he asked. You held up a finger and smirked. “What?”

“We don’t have to prove it was Mary. We just have to prove it wasn’t you.”

“What do you mean?”

“What does your annoying ass make every single one of your residents do after a surgery? While a patient is in post-op?” His eyes lit up and he started to grin. “You make us go over the surgery step by fucking step. If she killed them while you were talking to any resident…it couldn’t have been you and they have zero credibility.”

“God I love how smart you are. How’d you even think of that?”

“Because of how damn annoying it is!”

“I don’t care. I’ll so happily take it if we can prove it. I do sort of see one fatal flaw in your idea though. If you call, they’ll think I’m coercing you and every resident I’ve ever had hates my guts. I made most of them drop out of surgery and move to something else. Not a single one would vouch for me.”

“They would if the chief asked them to,” you said. Dean sighed and shook his head. “Dean he would. He would vouch for you.”

“What about that tape I switched? I did that and maybe he thinks I am capable-”

“But how would he know you switched a tape? Actually why would you switch a tape if you didn’t do anything during surgery?”

“Because…because I didn’t realize audio was on and I was talking to one of the surgical nurses while I was waiting for you and we said you were hot and I didn’t want to…get in trouble,” he mumbled. “I didn’t have time to cut the audio so I just showed an old surgery to him but he could figure it out.”

“Dean. The chief knows we’re…I don’t know what we are but he doesn’t have a problem with us being a thing. If he finds out about the tape, which he won’t, we tell him the truth. Otherwise, I think he’s on your side.”

“Y/N, you’re way, way too trusting. He is not on my side,” said Dean. “He’ll call the cops immediately.”

“Your options are hide for the rest of your life or try to clear your name. See I’d personally go for the second one cause as lovely as this room is I’d much rather not be in it.”

“Your own family wasn’t on my side. They think I’m a monster. Why would our boss give me a chance?”

“His job is to save people too Dean. If you don’t want me to try and talk to him, I won’t. It’s your choice.”

“…okay. But wait a few hours until it’s darker, less chance of being spotted.”

“You should stay here to be safe.”

“I have no desire to leave this room until I’m not wanted but I think I’m gonna have to talk to him some,” he said. 

“That’s okay with me,” you said, glancing at the TV, a picture of you being shown. “Oh come on. I hate that picture.”

“You look nice,” said Dean, one of the both of you from the gala last month on screen. “You were pissed at me that night.”

“You screamed at me in front of the entire operating room earlier in the day,” you said. You crossed your arms and he sighed.

“I’m sorry for yelling. But you get agitated when you don’t get enough sleep before a long surgery. You have to control your feelings and I was pushing you into that situation.”

“Why?”

“Because when you’re learning is the time to make mistakes. Your problems have always been mental, a lack of belief in your abilities. Pushing you to the edge forces you to confront that you are capable. If you’re going to break, and surgeons break, do it when another surgeon is in the room. So I kept pushing you so you could see just how skilled you are. I talked to the chief Y/N, after Sam’s surgery. What you did was the definition of grace under pressure. That’s why I push you. So you can save the ones the other surgeons aren’t capable of.”

“I owe you for that,” you said. “I saved Sam because of it. I’ve saved other patients. Maybe it’ll work for my current patient.”

“Sam’s gonna be okay,” he said. 

“I wasn’t talking about him,” you said, reaching over and gently touching his ribs. He rubbed the back of his neck before crossing his arms. “Not that you need saving. More like…a hug and some kindness for once.”

“Y/N we shouldn’t be friends.”

“Yeah we’ve been through too much crap the past day for us not to be friends so you’re gonna have to deal with that.”

“You did a year in psych rotation right? So you know, you know, that there are pieces of me that are messed up and will never be fixed. I’ve never wanted much. Sam to be happy and safe really. Maybe I can help a few people too. That’s all. Whatever kind of childish crush I have…I’m supposed to be alone.”

“Another lie your parents told you?” you asked. He was silent, blankly staring at the TV. “People aren’t meant to be alone. They need love. It doesn’t have to be romantic but they need it. I obviously haven’t done a psych eval and I’m not going to but as shitty as your life has been, you had love. A very strong love, one that can’t be broken.”

“Sam,” he said quietly. You nodded, Dean pulling in his legs, tucking his knees up to his chest. “What would you describe me as? Medically speaking.”

“You got the classic stuff. PTSD, some self-worth, maybe esteem issues. Hints of anxiety, depression. You had some partentification going on with Sam. Fear based responses. Mostly PTSD though I’d guess.”

“And the whole stockholm syndrome thing.”

“You don’t have that. Neither does Sam.”

“Um, hi. I was kidnapped when I was like, seven. I’m pretty sure-”

“Do you love your parents?”

“No. But-”

“Do you like them?”

“No. They’re cruel.”

“Then you do not and never had stockholm syndrome. Like I said, fear based responses. Stockholm syndrome is a term for when the survivor feels positively towards their attacker, kidnapper, whatever it is, as a means to cope. You don’t. You still have a very clear line in the sand of you and Sam versus your parents.”

“Then why did I never say a word about my parents.”

“You’re intelligent and know you’d need proof. You were also a smart enough boy to realize Sam was smaller than you and you were too small to protect him yourself so you had to do as told. And I bet you did as told all the way up until you two knew Sam was graduating highschool,” you said. You laid down on the bed, Dean chuckling to himself.

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised at your deductive reasoning skills. You’ve always been good at diagnosing.” He stretched out, holding his rib for a moment before relaxing. “Yeah. That’s pretty much how it went. That many years into it all Sam was terrified to go against them. They told us what they did to prove to us that no matter where we ran, who we told, how big we got, they could find us and end us like that. So we behaved, let them retain some control over our adult lives and things worked. Sort of.”

“Sounds like two smart boys found the least painful path to survival. Nothing a little therapy can’t handle.”

“You have a lot of faith in me you know.”

“One of us ought to,” you said. You reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the still cold beer off the top, taking a sip and passing it to him, Dean drinking before handing it back. “This tastes horrible.”

“What kind of off brand shit did you buy?” he laughed.

“It was in the mini fridge,” you said.

“We’re probably going to catch something and die from whatever bacteria is on that can.”

“Eh, whatever,” you said. “If a can of beer kills me, I’ll take it.”

“We should grab a drink, when I’m not wanted and the whole country doesn’t think you’re kidnapped anymore I mean.”

“I fucking love those big ass pretzels sticks and the mustard and cheese? God, I’ll take greasy bar food any day.”

“It’s a date then,” he said. You looked up, Dean shrugging. “You know, plans.”

“You ever been on a date?” you asked.

“You know how I have a reputation for going on a lot of first dates at the hospital?”

“You mean how the nurses call you a man slut?”

“Yes well...dating isn’t exactly good when you have psychopath parents so I hookup a lot. Like exclusively only go on first dates.”

“Well that settles that. We’re having our first date tonight and, despite the fact we’re in a motel that charges by the hour, we’re so not having sex. How’s that sound?” you asked.

“Oddly nice,” he said. “Not much of a first date though.”

“Excuse me but I’m the most famous person you’ve ever dated. I’m even on national news,” you said. He laughed, taking the crappy beer out of your hand and finishing it off.

“You’re right. Still the best first date I’ve been on cause this time I get to decide if I go on a second one.”

“Oh we’re going on a second one. That’s a given,” you said. “Next time we’ll splurge, you know, get like a big mac instead of a dollar menu burger.”

He laughed again, holding his side when he did it too hard. He suddenly hissed, freezing in place with a scrunched up look on his face.

“Relax, relax,” you said gently, Dean not daring to move. “It’s probably the muscle, not the stitches.”

“I need...I need…fuck it hurts. I’m not being a wimp either.”

“I know,” you said. “Lay down for me and I’ll check.”

Dean’s face turned red as he got down with your help, his eyes squeezed shut when you shoved up the hoodie and shirt, showing off the bandage below. You carefully peeled it back, cocking your head.

“It’s not infected is it?”

“I’m not a dumbass. I sterilized everything and your bandages. I see the problem though. Bruising is agitating the area.”

“I’m not being a little bitch.”

“Did I say you were?” you shot back. “Fucking backseat surgeon even when you’re the patient.”

“Well I never hear any of your other patients nearly shouting in pain.”

“Maybe because they have oh, morphine?” you said, a lightbulb going off in your head. “Stay put. I’ll be back.”

“Y/N? Hey wait!” he said as you grabbed some cash and ducked outside. You walked across the parking lot over to where a parked car was sat, the guy inside looking you up and down.

“Oxy,” you said.

“Damn. I sell weed, not pills.” You rolled your eyes and nodded to his backseat where another man sat with a cooler.

“Right. Cause you keep your weed in a temperature controlled environment. Oxy.”

“That’s just my dinner,” he laughed. You narrowed your eyes and he quickly stopped. “You a cop?”

“I just want the pills. Please,” you said. He looked you up and down again before snapping his fingers. A baggie of a two pills came out of the cooler and he held out his hand. “Hundred dollars.”

“Ten pills.”

“That’ll be five hundred dollars.”

“It’ll be two fifty,” you said.

“You must not know how supply and demand works. See-”

“Two fifty,” you said, holding out the money to him. He saw the marks on your wrists and took the cash.

“Girl you caught me in a good mood,” he said, getting more baggies and dropping them in your hand. You quickly shoved them in your pocket and nodded. “Take care of yourself.”

“Word to the wise. Your registration is expired. Cops’ll pull you over for that shit,” you said, tapping the sticker in the windshield before walking off. You slipped back into the motel room, Dean wincing when you set the bag down on the nightstand.

“Is that oxy?” he said as you got one out and popped it in his hand. “Where-”

“Benefit of having a mom that worked narcotics for a few years. You know how to spot a dealer,” you said. “This will help.”

“Knight in shining armor,” he said, putting it in his mouth and taking a sip from a bottle of water you handed him. “You realize we’re actually getting into crime territory now right?”

“Oh what’s a little crime,” you said. “Not like I killed anyone.”

He rolled his eyes but smiled, easing back on the bed with your help.

“Thanks,” he said after a moment, turning his head up towards you when you sat down on the other side. “Not really used to someone taking care of me.”

“You’ll get used to it,” you said. You sighed and pursed your lips, Dean’s picture up on the screen again. “At least you look really cute?”

“Yeah,” he said, humming and closing his eyes. “Don’t go out again until it’s dark. Promise.”

“I won’t. Take a rest. We’ll try the chief soon and try to get you out of this.”

Four Hours Later

“Shit,” you said on the way back to the motel from the payphone. You knew you shouldn’t have let Dean convince you he had to talk to the chief himself. On the one hand, the chief was willing to look into things for you and try to vouch for Dean. On the other, a cop was currently walking down the sidewalk and headed straight for you and Dean. 

“Play along,” said Dean quietly, tugging his hood down over his face more. He suddenly grabbed your waist and backed you up against a brick wall, caging your body in with his, lips meeting yours. You had a hat on and zip up, Dean blocking most of you from view. You put your hands on his face, Dean’s lips moving with yours. You heard a chuckle as the cop went past, Dean keeping up with the kissing until the cop was walking across the street. He pulled back and swallowed, taking a deep breath. “Sorry.”

“Eh, I’m a kiss on the first date kind of girl. Fine with me,” you said. He laughed, looking down when you hugged him. “I don’t think we should go back to the motel. We’re only a few blocks away and cops around here patrol in cars, not on foot. They’re looking for us.”

“Why’d that guy not stop us?”

“Because they’re looking for a crazy person and a terrified hostage, not a couple making out on the street.”

“God you are so attractively intelligent.”

“I’m making this up as I go to be honest. It’s more of a gut feeling than anything.”

“We probably lost the car then,” he said.

“We still have cash, the oxy and the med bag,” you said, the thing slouched over your shoulder and thankfully dark enough to look like a purse at this time of night.

“We can’t go anywhere people might know about. Friends, family. No where.”

“I do have one idea where we can hide out. Gonna have to catch the bus and get a bit outside of town.”

“Whatever it is I’m down for it.”

“Y/N what the fuck,” said Dean a half hour later. He stared wide eyed and you shrugged. “Your idea is to stay at fucking Hill House?” 

“Well it’s creepy and condemned so no one will bother us.”

“I have open wounds! I’m not trying to catch the plague or god knows what is festering in there.”

“You really don’t get out, do you,” you said, curling a finger in his hoodie and pulling him along after you. He whined, pouting as you went up the front steps and inside. 

“Y/N,” he said again, rubbing his arm. “I don’t want to be here.”

“The rumors I’m sure you heard at college aren’t true. It’s not haunted by shit.”

“Yeah but it’s all decrepit and falling apart,” he said.

“Mostly,” you said. You pulled him around to the back of the house and into the ballroom, Dean blinking a few times. 

“What is this?” he asked quietly. You smiled, looking back at the room, some couches and tables around, string lights strung up. You hit a switch on the lights, a soft glow shining through the room. “What the fuck…is this a drug den? Or like…an orgy place? I thought I was the one with the secrets.”

“Gah, no. It’s a chill party spot for med school students that aren’t into the frat crap. Lights are hooked up to a solar panel in the back. The guy did engineering for undergrad or something,” you said. “Been here a few years now.”

“You’re a party girl?” he asked.

“I’m a chill party girl. You know, ones where you eat a bunch and joke and don’t have to worry about some dick trying to get in your pants. Small stuff,” you said. You sat down on one of the couches, Dean sitting on the other end, kicking his feet up on the table. “You ever been to a party?”

“Yeah, frat parties. They’re alright,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t have a lot of friends if you can imagine.”

“That’s more of a quality over quantity thing you want anyways.”

“You must have lots of friends,” he said softly. “Smart, pretty girl.”

“I used to. But interests change. It’s hard to maintain relationships when that happens. All my friends are other doctors and nurses now. You know before all this shit, even though you would drive me insane and some days I hated you, you’re the closest friend I had.”

“You must have shitty friends then.”

“Shitty friends don’t walk their female friends across the parking lot at night after they worked a forty hour shift. You’re a better person than you give yourself credit for,” you said. 

“Yeah. I know,” he said. He held his side and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I gotta change this bandage.”

“Lift up your shirt.” You opened the bag, Dean silent as you swapped out his old for the new one, his jaw clenched by the time you finished. “Are you okay?”

I’m angry,” he said, dropping his shirt. “I should have said something. I should have fucking told somebody what they did to us when we were kids.”

“You know you haven’t told me anything about what they actually did. If you want to vent I’ll keep your secrets. That’s what friends do.”

He got up and paced around in a circle a few times before sitting down on the couch next to yours. He rubbed his arm and breathed slowly, green eyes soft in the glow of the lights.

“There was a box at that cabin. About the size of a trunk. I spent a lot of time in the box for various reasons growing up. But as I got older and bigger, box stayed the same size. It would be days in the box. Better hope you drank a lot of water before because you don’t get any once you get in the box. I got old enough that the box was too small but still I went in and it was a death trap.”

“Fuck that’s disturbing,” you said.

“Disturbing is the fact that the box was buried in the ground. Sure there were some holes for air but it felt like you were drowning the whole time. You get locked in, a board thrown over top in the yard. Scream yourself hoarse. No one comes. If they fuck up and accidentally kill you turns out you’re already in your grave. Every time you get in that fucking box you don’t know if it’s actually your coffin.”

You looked at your lap and shut your eyes, the couch dipping beside you.

“They didn’t touch us. But they put us in the box. And that threat has been hanging over our heads our whole lives.”

“Is that how…you know…they kill other people?”

“It varies. I only ever heard stories but enough to know there’s evidence out there other places. I was surprised they didn’t put Sam in a box honestly after the cabin last night. I thought that’s where it was headed until John grabbed a knife.”

“That’s not how parents treat their kids. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“You know the sick part is I’m not afraid of the box anymore. It’s just a fucking box in the ground. I’m not scared of the dark or small spaces anymore. Of being trapped or dying from no air or water. I got past that. So did Sam actually.”

“But there’s still that threat.”

“It’s different now. I fuck up, Sam goes in the box. He fucks up, I go in the box. And we don’t know if the other is coming back out again. Like you said, it’s disturbing. Twisted. Fucked up. But all those people ever did is make me and Sammy love each other more. I would die for him and he would die for me. We know that. You didn’t notice at the cabin but Sammy and I told each other that last night. We were okay with whatever happened to us as long as we could get you someplace safe. We weren’t letting someone else get hurt like we did.”

“And you don’t think you’re a good person.”

“I don’t know what I am,” he said. He sighed, resting his head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him, Dean nudging closer to you. “I don’t think your mom is going to approve of this relationship.”

“She’ll get over it,” you said. “I can’t believe she would contact your parents.”

“I can almost guarantee they called her. They’re intelligent. They know her pressure points including you and your family. Trading me to leave all of you alone was easy.”

“She could have just arrested them on sight.”

“For what though? Being creepy? There’s a legitimate reason for their arrest now and Sam said on the news that they took us as kids. They’re in trouble. Maybe…maybe she was playing the long con to protect you.”

“No,” you said quietly. “She thinks you’re trash. I’ve seen that look on her face before when talking about criminals. She was baiting me the whole time.”

“Have some faith in her.”

“Why should I?”

“Because she loves you and she didn’t do what she did out of vindictiveness but care.”

“I guess so,” you said. You slumped back, Dean throwing his legs up on the coffee table. “Get some sleep. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

_______

A/N: Read the final part here!

[violetlilysunshine]

Like a Sleepover

Tom Holland x Female Reader

Requested

Anon: Sleeping over Tom Holland house for the first time. Lots of fluff please

WC: 3,544

Warnings: none, just fluff

A/N: I'm seeing this take place in Atlanta, but it’s not really specific if you wanna imagine it somewhere else!

REQUESTS OPEN - Or just come chat :)

MASTERLIST

You and Tom had been together for a little while; you were getting serious, spending more and more time together.

Last month, you finally put a label on yourselves, “is it...ya know, uh… can I, well…” he stuttered.

“Spit it out, Tommy,” you joked.

“Can I call you my girlfriend?”

You were taken aback for a second, “well, uh, to be honest, I kinda thought I already was…” you giggled.

He laughed at you gently, “well alright then, girlfriend…” he trailed off with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Okay, boyfriend.”

TUESDAY

Flash forward and you’re making plans for this weekend seeing as you're both off from filming.

“Yeah, so they’re showing Outsiders at the drive-in on Friday, and we’d have to go to the later showing after I finish filming, but uh, I thought it would be fun and something different for us and I know you love the movie. Might be fun to dress like Greasers too,” he proposed through the phone, calling you between scenes.

“Ooh that does sound like fun, but I wanna be Cherry,” you said, giggling a bit.

“Okay, you can be Cherry, I’ll be Ponyboy,” he finalized.

“Sounds good, well I gotta go,” you said, “duty calls.”

“Yeah, me too, but uh, one more thing real fast?”

“Sure, what’s up, babe?”

“Well seeing as it’s going to be really late, I just thought maybe after it’s over, you could maybe stay with me?” his voice tweaked up at the end. He was met with silence on your end for a minute before he added, “ya know, like a sleepover…”

“Uh, yeah, maybe…” you trailed off, “we’ll see what the wind blows, huh?”

“Oh,” he said, his voice dropping a bit, “yeah sounds good.”

“Okay, well I really do have to run.”

“Alright, darling, talk to you tonight.”

“Bye,” you said, already walking out of your trailer and back to set.

“Yeah, bye,” he answered to himself, seeing as you’d already ended the call.

You had never been nervous with him before, but now he’d casually invited you to stay over at his house for the night, something you’d never done with any boyfriend, ever. You didn’t know how to act, and it kinda freaked you out.

Was he expecting anything? What would you even wear? Should you bring a change of clothes? Would late night last into early morning? What if you woke up before him and didn’t know what to do in his house? What if he woke up first and you slept in really late, leaving him bored and trapped?

Questions swirled your mind, and you knew he would bring it up again, but you had to force them away. You hustled back to set, getting into character and trying to forget about everything.

He called you later that night, “wanna grab a bite with Harry and I?” he proposed.

“Uh sure,” you thought since Harry would be there, he wasn’t likely to bring it up again.

You met him just down the street from his house at the forgotten diner you frequented, never being recognized and getting some peace together. You grabbed burgers and chatted about your day as you ate and everything seemed fine. He didn’t bring it up again, and you thought you would have another few days to process everything and hopefully get over the hurdles in your mind. You wanted to stay with him, but you didn’t know how that would play out, exactly.

“Finished?” he asked, gesturing to your empty tray as he stood up.

“Yeah, thanks,” you smiled, and he cleaned up the table and took the trash to the can.

“I’m gonna walk back, if that’s okay,” Harry said, standing from the table, “got some photos I wanna edit.”

“Sure, bro, I’ll be right behind you,” Tom answered, coming back to you.

“Bye,” you waved as he left you and Tom alone.

“Walk you to your car?” Tom offered.

You stood up, turning around to thank the workers as the two of you left the diner. He walked you to your car, one hand secured around your shoulders, hugging you tight to his side.

“So, uh, I kinda got the sense that you didn’t want to stay with me earlier,” he said slowly, testing the waters to see how you would react.

You swallowed hard, turning to lean on the door of your car, “oh,” you whispered, “well uh, it’s not that, it’s just that I don’t - I’ve never really, uh, done that before.”

“Yeah I know we haven’t, love,” he chuckled.

“I mean, like ever,” you whispered, looking at the ground, “I just uh, don’t really know how that works.”

“Oh, well, uh, it’s not that hard really,” he soothed, “you just sorta sleep at my place, and I take care of you, and make you breakfast, and we just be together.”

You looked into his chocolate eyes, nothing but love pouring out of them. You don’t know how long you held his gaze for, but he started to get a little nervous at your lack of response.

“I mean, we’ve napped together before, it’s kinda like the same thing, just longer,” he added, trying to put you at ease.

“But like, what’s gonna happen?” you said, fiddling with your hands.

He understood what your emphasis meant, bringing a hand to your shoulder and rubbing it gently, “I’m not expecting anything, love,” he soothed you, “if it happens, fine, I’m ready for that. If you’re not that’s fine too, just wanna cuddle with you. Feel you pressed against me. Have my sheets smell like you when I get in ‘em the next night.”

You felt more at ease about it, but wrinkled your nose at his last statement.

His eyes grew wide, “no no no,” he hurried out, “I didn’t mean it, like, in a weird way! It came out wrong!”

You giggled at him, “it’s okay, bub, I get it. Why do you think I like wearing your hoodies all the time?”

He breathed a sigh of relief, chuckling at you, “yeah?”

“Yeah, and to be honest I don’t really even like hoodies. I’m a sweatshirt kind of gal.”

“Noted,” he answered, saving that info for later, “so what d’ya think about Friday?”

“I’ll stay, but like, do I bring anything?”

“You can bring whatever makes you comfortable, love,” he answered quietly, stepping towards you and cupping your face in his hands.

“Okay,” you breathed, connecting your lips to his.

You kissed for a while, his body pressing yours into the door. You pulled back to take a breath, resting your forehead on his, “but really, do I bring like, a toothbrush and stuff?”

“Yes, love, bring a toothbrush,” he chuckled, pecking you again. He swung his arm around your shoulder again, pulling you off the car, “let’s get you home, yeah?”

He opened your door, letting you inside the driver’s seat and closing the door. You started the car, him still standing there watching you. You rolled down the window, “are you coming or what?” you laughed.

“What?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I’m taking you home, obviously,” you giggled.

He ran around to the other side, hopping in quickly and buckling up. His hand rested against your thigh instantly, stroking his thumb across your skin.

You made the short drive to his house, lights on downstairs showing that Harry was already there.

“Thanks for the ride, baby,” Tom said, leaning over the console and giving you a quick peck.

“Anytime,” you whispered, pecking him again.

“See you Friday,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows, squeezing your thigh.

“Yeah, Friday,” you answered quickly.

He pecked you one last time before slipping out of the car and jogging to the front door. You watched him go inside, waving to each other before you drove off.

THURSDAY

After you were off, you took a long shower, exfoliating everything and shaving your legs, in preparation for tomorrow night. You carefully packed your bag: toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, mouthwash, hair brush, extra ponytail holders, face wash, cute pajamas, fuzzy socks, extra undies (more than you’ll ever possibly need but can’t be too prepared, right?), a cute outfit for Saturday, and a book (because who knows what the tide will bring?).

You’d spent so long worrying about what you would take with you, that you’d forgotten that you had to find something to wear to the movie. You’d already agreed to be Cherry, so you had to come up with something.

You slipped to the back of your closet, finding an old-plaid-navy-school-uniform skirt. That’ll work. You pulled out a plain white sweater that you’d never found a chance to wear, thinking you could tuck that in, and a lace bralette to go underneath it; after all, you wanted to feel a little sexy. You pulled forward some old blue Vans and some white crew socks, planning to fold them over. You also planned to ask your hair and make-up artist to help you with your hair before you left set tomorrow, saving a few pictures for her.

By the time you’d done all that, you figured you better go to bed, turning off the light, crawling into bed, and thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

FRIDAY

You’d had a long and stressful day filming, stuttering over your lines, missing your marks, and overall just not giving your best performance. Everyone has their off days, but you knew this was coming from your worries about tonight.

You called Tom as you were getting your hair done after wrapping for the day.

“Hi, bub, am I interrupting you?” you asked as soon as he answered.

“Never, love,” he answered, “what’s up?”

“Well, I’m getting my hair done for tonight, then I was going to head home. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t want me to stop and get anything at all or bring anything specific with me..”

“Course not, darling. You just have to bring that pretty face…” he trailed off.

If you were with him, you’d have slapped his shoulder lightly. Instead you just giggled, asking, “you’re positive?”

“Yes darling,” he insisted, “I’ll pick you up at 9:00.”

“Alright…” you trailed, “guess I better let you get back to work.”

“I’ll see you later, beautiful,” he whispered, “bye.”

“Bye.”

Your hair and make-up artist finished her work, expertly recreating your example images. You thanked her profusely, complimenting her over and over.

She answered with a simple, “it’s nothing dear,” and a wave of her hand.

You hugged her thank you, heading back to your trailer to collect your things.

By the time you got back to your apartment, it was already 8:30. You quickly dropped your work and other set junk on the table, scurrying to your room to collect your bag for Tom’s. You checked over everything in there, playing all the possible scenarios in your mind before deciding you were prepared.

You changed into your outfit for the night, lacing your shoes and admiring yourself in the full length mirror. You snapped a few pictures, deciding that one was cute and posted it to your Instagram story with the caption, “where’s my Pony?” and a cherry emoji.

As soon as you put it up, Tom knocked on your door. You rushed through the living room to the front door, flinging it open to see what Tom had concocted for the evening. You took in his appearance, mouth watering at the sight. You admired his slicked back hair, tight grey t-shirt, sleeves rolled up a bit of course, loose jeans, cuffed at the hem, beat up black converse, and red flannel hanging over his shoulder; you didn’t realize the effect this dress-up would have on you. You giggled, eyeing him up and down as he did the same to you.

“Hey, doll,” he grinned, meeting your eyes again.

“Hey, Pony,” you laughed.

“Ready to go?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, let me just get my bag from my room,” you said, turning back to grab it from your bed.

At the last second you decided to throw a box of tampons in. You weren’t expecting to use them, but you didn’t want to get stranded without them. You sighed, zipping up the bag and turning off your bedroom light.

You emerged from the room, walking towards Tom, standing by the table.

“Ready,” you said, voice kind of quiet.

“Let’s go then,” he smiled brightly, taking your bag from you and grabbing your hand. You locked the door behind you before following him to his car.

~~~~

When you parked to watch the movie, Tom was quick to pull out his phone, snapping a picture of the title screen and posting it to his public story. You knew fans would be in a tizzy, considering your earlier post, but they always were so what’s the point in worrying. Then he turned to you, “take a photo with me, love?”

“Course, Pony, anything for you,” you said dramatically, even though you loved it.

“Are you gonna call me that all night?” he chuckled.

“Maybe forever,” you answered, laughing loudly.

He pulled his phone up to take a selfie. You smiled wide, pressing your faces together, and he turned to peck your cheek. He snapped another, smiling as well, saving it and setting it as his lock screen.

The movie was great, as expected, and the drive-in atmosphere made it even more fun. You didn’t have to worry about fans interrupting you, a big plus, but it also just fit the movie so well, and it was fun to be in costume.

When it wrapped up and you were waiting in the traffic to pull out of the lot, Tom asked gently, “still wanna come over?”

“Yeah, sure,” you said, trying not to overthink things.

“Okay, just making sure. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just want you to be comfortable,” he said, dropping a hand to your thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Oh, well I wanna give it a go,” you said with a small smile, placing your hand on top of his.

He smiled wide, picking up your hand to give it a kiss, before dropping it back into your lap.

The drive to his house was quick after you finally made it out of the parking lot. He hurried around the car, opening your door for you, before grabbing your bag from the backseat.

He placed a hand on your lower back, gently guiding you to the front door. He shuffled around to unlock it, pushing open the door and allowing you to enter first. You stepped inside, making note of Harry on the couch. It was almost 1:00 AM, so you’d assumed he'd be asleep.

“Oh, hey Harry,” you spoke lightly.

“Hey, was wondering when you’d get here…” he trailed off, “I was just about to turn in. Outfit’s great by the way,” he said, standing from the couch and gathering his laptop.

“I don’t mean to chase you out,” you said, not wanting to be in the way.

“No, no, you didn’t,” he soothed, “it’s time to turn in anyway, gonna go golf in the morning.”

“Oh, okay, goodnight.”

“Night,” he said, trudging down the hall.

Tom had set your bag on the bench in the entryway, coming up behind you. He placed his hands on your hips, pulling you flush against his front, as he snuggled his face into your neck.

“Hi,” he whispered in your hair.

“Hi,” you giggled back, attempting to turn in his grasp.

His hands held you in place, wrapping around to cross over your stomach. He rested his weight against you, slowly swaying the both of you back and forth.

You eyed the mirror across the room, desperate to take pictures like this. After all, he got a new lockscreen earlier…

“Bub,” you giggled, feeling his breath fan across your neck.

“Mmm, yes, my love?” he grumbled, pressing kisses against your skin.

“I wanna take a picture,” you giggled, “over in that cool mirror.”

He squeezed you tighter for a second, before releasing you, “mmkay,” he answered, letting you lead him over to the mirror.

“Do that again,” you told him, guiding his arms around your waist.

He was quick to settle back into you, breathing in your scent as you snapped a few photos in the mirror: a few of him kissing your neck, a few with you both looking in the mirror, a few of him looking at you, lovingly. He buried his face even further into you, hiding completely, as you took just one more. You asked him if it was okay to post one.

“Let me see it first,” he said, wanting to check all of the surroundings for spoilers and whatnot.

He was quick to approve the photo with his lips pressed to your jaw, making you smile.

You put it up on your story, captioning this one, “found him,” with the horse and cherry emojis.

He kissed your neck a few times, watching you post, before mumbling, “ready for bed?”

You yawned slowly, “yeah, I think so.”

“Alright,” he whispered, pecking your cheek one final time.

He slid one hand down your arm, locking your fingers together, and pulling you towards the staircase. He picked up your bag, carrying it with him up to his bedroom. You followed him in and he set your bag on the end of the bed.

“Alright, darling,” he said, rubbing his hands together gently, “make yourself at home.”

“Okay,” you giggled, stepping towards the end of the bed gently.

He’d placed your bag in the middle, next to a sweatshirt. You looked at him, making note of its presence.

“Oh, well, uh, you said you didn’t like hoodies, so I uh, pulled this one out for you, ya know, if you want it,” he said, shuffling his feet.

All you could do was smile, You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. You kissed him gently, lingering for just a second.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips.

“You’re welcome, darling.”

You turned towards the bed, stepping back from him.

“So what’d you bring?” he asked, one hand finding the zipper of your bag as he tried to get a peek inside. You were quick to stop his hands, not wanting him to see the box of tampons thrown on top.

“Things,” you said giggling, “teeth stuff, hair stuff, clothes, a book…” you trailed off.

“A book?” he laughed lightly, “what book?”

“Looking for Alaska,” you answered, “it’s my comfort book.”

“Well, you’ll have to read it to me,” he said with a glint in his eye.

“Okay,” you whispered with a sheepish smile.

“I’m gonna pop in the bathroom real quick, alright?”

“Of course, it’s your house,” you laughed.

In his absence, you changed clothes, dragging on your tiny sleep shorts and matching tank top and pulling his sweatshirt over the top. You moved your bag off the mattress, dropping it on the floor. He came back quickly, seeing your new outfit, and smiling widely.

“Looks good on you,” he grinned.

“Thanks,” you said, “can I take my makeup off?”

“Course,” he answered, gesturing to the bathroom.

While you did that, he changed as well, dressing in a new t-shirt and clean boxers; he didn’t want to get in bed with you for the first time in dirty boxers of course. He shuffled under the covers, tucking into his usual side and propping against the headboard. He scrolled through Instagram, reposting your stories to his own and liking a few posts of yours.

You returned, dropping your items back in your bag, and grabbing your book. You flipped off the overhead light and stepped into the other side, enjoying how utterly domestic everything felt.

He flipped on the lamp on the side table, opening his arm for you to rest against him. You settled against his chest, opening your book to start to read to him. He kissed your head and rubbed small circles into your arm.

Your eyes were getting heavy as you read, but you would gladly stay up all night reading with him. Unfortunately, he started to doze off, snoring just enough for you to hear. You closed the book, marking your page but knowing you’d have to go back a little bit tomorrow, and reached over to turn the light off.

He woke up a bit, grumbling, “what’re you doing, love?”

“Just turning off the light,” you whispered, “go back to sleep.”

He sank down to lay against the pillows. You dropped back over to your side, curling up, but leaving some distance between you two. You faced him, admiring his face as he slept.

“What’re you doing?” he grumbled, eyes still closed.

“What do you mean?” you giggled, “going to sleep.”

“No, c’mere,” he said, reaching an arm out to wrap around your waist.

He pulled you into him, tangling your legs together and pecking your cheeks. You giggled at him, pulling his lips to yours, kissing him goodnight.

“G’night, my love,” he grumbled, tipping his head back to rest his chin against your forehead.

“Night, Pony,” you whispered back.

He chuckled, squeezing you tighter before you both drifted off to sleep.

[captain039]

A lioness

Logan x reader (wolverine)

Warnings: Gore, sweating, placed in Logan, character deaths, intimacy, angst, age gap, anxiety, anxiety attacks, mentions of needles

18+

You aren't related to Wolverine.

Your mutant thing:

The Lioness

Genetically made in a lab. A test subject. You were originally human and made mutant. They made your bones into metal like Wolverine and Laura.

You have enhanced everything really xD, cat like. Your finger nails grow into metal claws along with your toe nails, your quick and self healing.

You stared at the TV, you hadn't seen one in a very long time. You flicked through the channels admiring the moving picture. Your leg bounced though and your heart was too quick. You kept looking out the window every minute hoping no strange men would show up again. Your mind always flashed back when you looked outside. Flashed back to the moment you were stolen from your home.

“Y/n!” you heard a hushed cry. You jolted away seeing your mother crawling in. You shot up and went to her, her stomach area full of blood.

“Mum!” you said but she covered your mouth.

“Run” she whispered as her eyes closed. Lights blared in through the windows and the doors. Men shouted and footsteps echoed up the stairs as something hit you. Your body swayed your world blurry as the men continued shouting and rummaging.

You awoke with agonising pain throughout your body. You cursed and tensed trying to move. You heard panicked shouts around you as your world blurred again and went dark.

The second time you awoke was too soft beeping and less agonising pain. You felt a numb throb all over but that was it. Your eyes wouldn't focus and you kept rolling your head side to side.

“She’s awake sir” you heard a woman speak.

“Good” a man this time answered. Your eyes finally focused, it looked like a hospital room only- more creepy. You looked around saw needles in your arms as your heard sped up.

“What’s going on?” Your anxiety was kicking in, you hated doctors, hated needles.

“What’s happening?!” You shouted pain glaring through your knuckles.

“Sedate her now!” You heard as you began to thrash and cry. It was too late though the woman had injected something into your drip bag, the clear liquid going to a more creamy colour. You stopped thrashing, your words were slurred as you fell asleep once more.

You snapped out of your day dream as a car pulled up, you frowned seeing a man step out confused. He was in a large limo car, the hell is he doing here? You watched a woman come out and froze. The man didn’t want any part of her apparently as they fought, you saw a young girl also. You went outside your senses on edge.

“Sorry ma’am” the man spoke to you making you flinch.

“Y/n Y/l/n” you turned to the woman who spoke your name.

“You’re alive” she whispered.

“Do I- do I know you?” You asked as glass shattered.

“Hey! I told you to put that ball away!” The receptionist woman came out. The other woman gushed at her begged her to leave the girl alone before she sighed and went inside.

“My name is Gabriella” she said to you.

“I don’t know you” you said.

“I know you were under medication while I was with you” you froze, she was a nurse? Maybe a doctor?

“The hell you do to me?!” You snarled rushing forward.

“Hey!” The man stopped you a strong hand on your upper chest. You hissed at him and he raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t do anything! I was just a nurse, I was told to write notes, I worked at two facilities” she said making you frown. You were breathing heavily that uncontrolled rage boiling. You backed away from the mans hand glancing to him.

“What were they doing to me in there?” You asked.

“I know you have many questions, please come with us to North Dakota, Eden” she said making you frown.

“What’s Eden?” You asked.

“A safe place for your kind” she said and you flinched.

“My kind? I was a normal human before this fucking thing!” You snarled again.

“Calm down!” You glared at the man who shouted at you.

“All right let’s all calm the fuck down” he said as you paced.

“We need to leave now” the Spanish woman begged.

“Now please, 20 grand now and 30 when we get there” she said directed towards the man.

“Please Logan!” She begged.

“I’ll be back” he grumbled snatching her phone and putting something in it, a phone number probably.

“Thank you” she whispered as you stood there.

“Y/n” she called and you looked to her.

“Please come sit” she said beckoning you over to her room.

You sat with her trying to remember her face out of your brief moments of consciousness.

“I helped you get out, I dosed your medicine made you go into a frenzy in a sense and you escaped” she said making you sigh.

“What- what am I?” You asked.

“A mutant” she said.

“No I’m not mutants are born not made- this is a fuck up” you huffed leg bouncing again.

“Mutants are gone, almost all of them Laura here and other children were genetically made” she said softly pointing to the sleeping child.

“What’s she then?” You asked.

“She has Logan’s DNA” She said.

“The man with the big car?” You asked and she nodded.

“He’s a mutant?” You asked again and she nodded again.

“The wolverine” she said and you froze.

“The-“ you stuttered and she nodded.

“Your DNA is like his but they changed it somehow” you blinked at her words.

“Laura is his daughter” she said and you looked to the child.

“What does that make me?” You gulped.

“No, no your aren’t related, different genes different DNA” you let out a small sigh though it didn’t make you feel better.

“But I have- I have claws” you muttered.

“But you also have heightened senses, much more than Logan and Laura” she said.

“I do yeah” you mumbled running a hand down your face. You twitched slightly hearing a car down the road, a familiar type of engine.

“They’re here” you said as her eyes went wide. She grabbed her phone typing away as she woke Laura also.

You went outside waited for the two cars to come. Two big black trucks armoured, with armed men in side.

“I’ll be damned” you heard someone muttered.

“You’re alive!” The same man said as he walked up front. You stared at him, you didn’t know who he was.

“Our little mistake” he said and you glared.

“Y/n? Isn’t it? Yeah I was there when they were making you” he chuckled as your heart pounded and rage boiled.

“The lioness they called you!” He chuckled and you frowned.

“Though I really-“ you stopped his talking quick as you sliced through most of his men. Till they injected you with something.

You heard commotion and your world blurred again.

You awoke groggily, you groaned and shifted expecting to be tied up.

“Logan” you heard someone say and you jolted.

“Easy” you flinched as you sat up. You were in a moving car on some highway by the looks. The Wolverine driving beside you and old man in the back and the young girl Laura.

“What?” You began to shake and cursed.

“Logan pull over” you heard commotion but you were gone. You shook and cried as you curled into the door. Your mind flashed through everything and you couldn’t focus. The car had stopped you felt it, you felt being pulled out the car and onto the ground.

“Hey!” You flinched at Logan’s voice and turned away from him. You could make out speech between him and the old man but couldn’t focus on the words. You were whimpering, tears rolling down your face. When they injected you with this mistake it enhanced everything, your anxiety attacks included.

You felt arms go around you and you were pulled to a warmish body. You stopped shaking so violently and gripped the persons arm. You felt your heart slow down eventually, your body trembling every couple of seconds. You were exhausted as you went like jelly.

“They enhanced everything in her human body, her need to eat so much, drink, her emotions, her mental state also” the old man said.

“Get out my head” you whispered feeling him in your head.

“I’m just trying to calm you down” he said weakly. You gripped the arm the was around you and leant against their chest.

“I’m sorry” you said quietly and heard a soft grunt in response.

“We need to keep moving” Logan said and you nodded. He helped you back in the car and you leant against the door with your full weight, not bothered by the rattling and bumpiness. You were in and out of sleep, to exhausted from the attack you just had.

“We need a place to rest, Logan” Charles spoke.

“Damn it Charles” Logan said and you looked to him. He was gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white.

“We need food and a good nights rest no matter how risky, we won’t get far like this” the old man fought. Logan smacked the wheel and gave in with a sigh.

You pulled into the closest motel, Logan went to grab takeaway and you went with him. You didn’t talk during your trip, you ordered a lot of food, gave Logan all your money, took your food and stumbled back to the car without a word. You began to eat stomach so empty.

“You gonna eat all that?” He raised an eyebrow at your three burgers, two chips, two hash browns and coke.

“Yes” you said with your mouth full. He sighed and rolled his eyes as he drove back to the motel.

You all ate in silence before Logan helped Charles into bed.

Laura came up to you, held your hand in inspected it. You were confused by the action and stared at her.

“She wants to see your claws” Charles said a small smile on his face.

“Oh- no you don’t see them” you faked a chuckled as she showed hers with a grunt.

“Oh” you said staring at the two knives coming out of her knuckles.

“Mine aren’t like that” you gulped.

“Also very painful-“ she gave you begging eyes and you sighed.

“Ok” you grumbled. You held your hand up and winced as your nails fell off and metal claws came through.

“That’s disgusting” Logan said looking to your nails on the ground.

“I know” you muttered as the girl looked at them in awe.

“I can do it with my toes too” you said and she perked up.

“Not today” you said chuckling softly and she huffed.

“Watch this” you said forcing your eyes to go into night mode. It made them dark and reflective before going back to normal.

“Cat senses” you shrugged putting your claws back. Your nails grew back, you didn’t watch trying to keep those three burgers, two cups of chips and two hash browns down.

“You’ve got three that come out?” You asked Logan and he grunted nodding. He was old looking, worn down, he sounded like a raspy wolf, grunting and growing all the time. Though probably a Wolverine seeing as his name is Wolverine also.

“Not as disgusting as my nails though” you tried to joke but sighed. Charles chuckled softly half asleep though.

“Get some rest we leave in the morning” Logan said sternly and you sighed.

You took Laura to the other double bed and tucked her in. You laid down, your back to them and stared at the wall. You had found others, but it wasn’t like you were expecting.

Next Chapter